Category: My Thoughts

We broke in the New Year listening to John Denver’s, Country Road Take me Home, and cooking traditional black-eyed peas and a $10 head of organic cabbage that Bill purchased.

 The year 2012 is behind us. I don’t mean that negatively, but I have completed both rounds of chemo as of December 31^st, and the required 25 rounds of radiology. Six highly recommended radiation treatments yet to go, but in essence we have completed all required cancer treatments. One more week, we’ll have completed everything. That’s a very good reason to celebrate. I still have some trouble with nausea, radiation burn, and little weight loss, so keep praying. Your prayers make a big, big difference.

Of course I’m getting very good care. Mr. Bill has learned a lot about care giving and become the best possible nurse. Last weekend, he made me edible chicken soup, brought me extra blankets and has purchased a better humidifier. All in one day. What better nurse could I ask for?

My daughter Treasure has coordinated everything and filled in and taken me to the doctor many times. She is really a ‘treasure.’ I cherish her plus all the other helpers who have volunteered.

Christmas came and went on a quiet note. On Christmas Day, Bill and I watched a two hour movie about my daughters’ and my trip to Korea last summer. Mistie put it together for us and it made me cry. I saw three more babies I wanted to adopt.

Our large family came on different days to spread out the holiday celebrations so I wouldn’t get so tired. How thoughtful of them. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time with them. Besides that it has been a quiet week.

I think Bill liked the additional set of John Denver vinyl records I bought for him online. We’ll frame them to hang with the others and you can see them the next time you drop by. Unless you’re also a John Denver fan and want to listen to them, of course, which Bill will be glad to accommodate.

We’ll talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share

We look forward to the coming year and trust the Lord to guide us. He says He will. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you. “Psalm 32:8

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Between fatigue, nasty taste buds, and nausea, my desire for water has decreased, causing almost dehydration. I didn’t even notice it until my hands, feet, and eyes became dry, and my mouth felt like the Sahara Desert in need of a dropper-full of water.

Oh, I started in the middle of my story. I have been reading Psalms through this chemo/radiation treatment. Any time I experience life’s difficulties, I read Psalms, like going through a divorce, losing a career, a child facing trials. Just habit I guess, but it grounds me back to what is important. Now my focus, chemo brain I’m told, is lacking. It is difficult to concentrate on reading serious books like Christian biographies (my joy), writing blogs, even watching movies.

So one night I decide to listen to God in all things. (I’ve stated that many times but I slide so quickly.) I asked God to show me one small truth in my reading since I could not handle more. Here’s Psalms 104 where I opened and read.

“They give water….” I stopped reading. How did God know I needed water? Sometimes I am so slow. He knows EVERYTHING.

In the NIV Version, the word “Water” is in Psalms 104 Seven times. (However, not in NKJ which I like better, but it does mention quenching thirst, etc.)  Water, water, water. Was God trying to tell me something? Yes, I think so. I started drinking water again. My thirst actually came back. It tasted good again. And I think it has helped. I mean, of course it has.

God gave water to the earth, for the animals, the birds. He makes seas, rain, streams of fresh water. It’s like a magical potion. A mysterious liquid God has given to the whole world. Aren’t we mostly made of water? How ingenious is our God! Okay, Lord, I have a new appreciation for water. Thank you for your provision.

You are loved,

kathryn

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Many have asked if I would lose my hair. Maybe. Maybe not. I wouldn’t mind losing hair on my legs, underarms, or the two on my chinny-chin-chin, but with my luck that  probably won’t happen. This week, I lost a little hair, like it’s thinning. But at least hair loss is not painful or uncomfortable. I did as suggested and got my hair cut short, wash it less often, use no products to weigh it down, and do little hair drying.

 A sweet student asked me the other day if I had lost hair. I said, “No. Why do you ask?” He said “Your hair is shorter so I thought you lost some.”

 Doc said I shouldn’t lose any more hair but could not guarantee it so I’m considering a wig. Or at least lessons in how to wrap a head scarf—you know how I like to be prepared. I thanked my kind sister-in-law for the shawl she sent then I realized it could be used as a gorgeous turban.  I’ve considered asking Muslim lady friends how to wear a head covering, but Bill is not inclined to that. However, many India and Middle Eastern friends who wear these scarfs are Christian and I wore one when I visited over there.

I am doing extremely well considering all. Two more weeks of treatment remaining, and these two will be the worst. Keep praying for me. Nausea comes and goes. So far, I’ve had few mouth sores, slept well, and lost only a couple of pounds so your prayers are certainly being answered.

 I’ve been reading Psalm a lot and am reminded that God knows about each cell in my body. He knows the damaged DNA and how to fix it. At our next to last Bible study, I shared Psalm 139, my favorite Psalm. Here is part of it.

“For you [God] created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.”

Isn’t it amazing that God created our specific bodies? And after we die, we’ll be made new “in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye.” One day He’ll fix everything messed up on this earth.

Personally, I think God has a big computer with everyone’s DNA, and someday He’ll give us a new body with perfected genes. “And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold I am making all things new.” Rev 21:5.

God even knows the exact color my hair should be!

You are loved,

kathryn

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Eye drops, nose drops, dry mouth gum, mouth-numbing stuff, five or six medicines for nausea. Pain pills I haven’t needed yet, thankfully, supplements out the kazoo and lotions for the wazoo.  I’m feeling like a junkie. I guess. Since I don’t really know what a junkie feels like, except he/she needs pills to survive. Now that seems to be me.

The docs have prescribed any and everything I MIGHT need. Just in case. They are on call for renewals and anything that goes wrong with me. Talk about feeling like the center of attention. 🙂  Between the list of doctors I have and list of caregivers (almost said caretakers) I am getting more attention than a coon raiding a pantry.

No matter. I am half way through cancer treatments with three weeks to go so I must relish in the devotion as long as possible. It will soon be over. I do try to keep the whining and complaining to keep to a minimum, even if Bill might not think so.

Bill is playing Santa Claus this year, but I decided to go to Target with him for a few things I wasn’t sure he could pick out. Fifteen minutes later, I had to find a place to rest. (Out of all this assortment of medication, there is no pill for fatigue.) My dear husband finished shopping in the midst of the chaos and stood in a long line while I took a nap in the closed, darkened photo center. There are some benefits to treatments at Christmas.

Bill said I looked like a junkie passed out on the sofa. So next time you see a person lounging in the dark corner of the store, don’t give them a hard time. They could be waiting for someone to invent that new-fangled “get up and go” pill. In the meantime, please pray that I get some more “get up and go.”

These doctors are trying very hard to heal my body, but I must remember  the greatest Physician is. My God. He made this shell and knows what medications I need.

You are loved,

kathryn

My brother Fredrick has battled renal cancer for a few months. It appears to be all gone after the operation to take out the tumor and kidney but he has other medical issues now. He is losing blood somewhere. So much he is seriously anemic and had several blood transfusions during each of the past two weeks. Tests show nothing amiss through the digestive track. They will see a hematologist today.

Fredrick, a few years younger than me, is very fatigued and still unable to eat much. He has already lost over 35 pounds. He has to maintain his teaching job because he will be vested at the end of this semester, although he has little strength to go. (Hopefully, next semester he can take a sabbatical.)

Our family gathered the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Too many of us for any person’s house, we met at Shawnee Community Center. Wonderful time together. I’m including a picture of me with my awesome sisters and brothers. They are the best.

I know the power of your prayers. They have helped me deal with my cancer treatments this past month and kept me uplifted – such strong warriors who believe in God’s healing hand.

So, please add my brother to your prayers. Pray that he be encouraged, for he needs that very much. Pray that the doctors will find the source of his problems and a way to remedy it. And pray for his wife Jeri, who lovingly takes care of him. His health concerns are far from over, but God is greater.

“Surely God is good to the upright, to those who are pure in heart.” Psalms 73:1.  His address is Fredrick Akin, 19901 Coker Rd, Tecumseh, OK 74873 (not 73873).

 You are loved,

kathryn

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